Chicago Peace

If there's 'anything' or 'anyone' I really miss in this world, I would have to say it's my Mom.
My Mom was a very special person, as I'm sure most of ours were or are.
Those of you who still have your Moms, are very Blessed.
She was very talented and could have done anything with her life, but she loved her kids ( me and my older brother ), so she put all her talents aside to raise us, and to take care of a home and the two men she married during the course of her life.

To say that I was an easy child to raise would be ... well...a lie.
Anyone who knows me, knows what a basket full of fun I am.
I was a rebellious child but through the years my Mom and I went from being adversaries to the best of friends.


My Mom left her body in 2005. I've never considered her gone or dead.
I know that she's still here, just not the way I want her to be.
I was her caretaker as she was transitioning, and in order for me to care for her and follow her wishes, I had to mourn her before she even left.
I remember driving home from the gym one day, and I realized the World wasn't stopping for me and my horrible situation. Everyone around me was carrying on with their lives, and I was going through this surreal, spiritual, transformation that no one else would understand unless they were going through it themselves.
I mean when the doctors told me my Mom had cancer, and had maybe 4-6 months to a year if treatment went well, I literally slumped to the floor.
It was like someone had kicked me in the stomach.
I couldn't breathe.
I'd never felt anything so devastating.
How do you react when the person who gave you life is transitioning out of her body ? Leaving THIS world as I know it ?
But you take the information that's given and you make the best of it.
After several rounds of chemo, and actually being in remission, she announces to me one day that she's tired, and doesn't want to go through treatment anymore.

I respected her wishes.

I want to thank my Mom for all that she did for me.
If it wasn't for her, I would have never have been interested in photography.
She gave me my first point and shoot for Christmas one year and it took off from there.
My only regrets with my Mom, is that she never saw my success in my career and she won't be at my wedding.
This is one of the first images I captured with that camera.
She loved roses and had quite the garden in her backyard.
This one is called Chicago Peace.

Change is Good

I get asked a lot if I miss Northern California.
And there's ONE simple answer to that question...
NO.
I don't miss anything about it, maybe the ocean a bit and my gym ( it was a killer gym ) my cousin Pamela Treseler Gangloff and her family, but after my Mom and Dad passed, there was really nothing left for me there.



The friends that I had drifted away because I was working alot and never had time to accept their invitations to get together.
The lesbian community is also very cliquey and I don't have time for cliques. I like all kinds of people and would always find it strange that one group would never want to get together with another.
Let's just say, I didn't find friendships that were very authentic.
The things I missed about Santa Cruz could never be brought back.
Back in the day when I had family, life was a constant party. There was time to enjoy the ocean, tourists and housing developers weren't infiltrating every inch of free space, you could buy a house for a decent price, AND you could get across town in five minutes.
Now there's an 'entitled' vibe there.
If you're not grandfathered in, you're SOL on trying to buy a home, or get a decent job unless you're working in the family business that was established 100 years ago.
I remember having to go back after about a month of being in the desert, and thinking, "What a depressing place."
I was born and raised in Santa Cruz, and after 50 years, it only took me a month to get rid of all the junk that I had collected over the past 30 years, sell my house and get the hell out.
I remember my realtor telling me what my house was selling for, and the cash offer I got way over the asking price.
I was shocked.

My ex partner and I had a bought a house here a few years before so I could retire, and I thought, " It's time."

Dreams Don't Have Deadlines.

When I moved here four years ago from Northern California, my plan was, well, I really don't know what my plan was, but I knew I wanted to get out of the rat race of The Silicon Valley, be in my poolhouse in Desert Hot Springs, and reinvent myself.
I've worked in the entertainment industry for most of my life...modeling, acting, a bit of singing, and A LOT of background work.
I scouted talent for Faces modeling agency, I've worked in film, television, theater, and am still a journeyman with IATSE Local 134 in San Jose California.



I've worked up and down the California Coast from Marin/Treasure Island to the lovely Carmel Valley.
If you're in the entertainment industry, and you get a call to work, it doesn't matter where it is, you mentally prepare yourself and you go.
You pack up your car with all the necessities not knowing what that day will bring.
I've spent many nights in the back of my SUV having only a few hours to rest in-between calls.
I've left calls at 2 AM, drove home to Santa Cruz from wherever I was with enough time to lay down for an hour, get up, shower and start all over again.

So when I moved here, I wanted to do something different.
Photography has been a passion of mine for many years, even though I see many of my peers struggling and still having to work their 'day' job while still pursuing their passion, that wasn't the life that I wanted at 50 years old.
I wanted a different reality for myself.
So I decided to create it.
I set the intention to manifest a career for myself.
It's my intention to work for an entity...a magazine or worldly publication that would allow me to travel, create abundance, and pursue my passion of photography. 

An intuitive friend of mine did a reading for me before I left Santa Cruz, and she saw me telling people's stories with my camera.

Now the job that I have manifested has come to light.

It took longer than I anticipated
( I'm REALLY impatient. One of my lessons here on the planet )

A friend pulled a Tarot Card for me this morning, which is what prompted me to pen this status, mostly to encourage those who DO STILL have dreams, to not let them die.

Dreams Don't Have Deadlines.

They don't always come to light when you want them to, but they do come around eventually.
So, set your intentions, make a vision board, be specific with what you want, live like it's already happening.

My agenda in life has always been to have fun and to be happy In everything I do. 

The desert has given me the renewed energy to dream big, and the Spiritual space to create those dreams.

My Tarot Reading Today

The time to act is now! The fairy of spring presents you with a wonderful new opportunity that will allow you to achieve what you desire. Your fledgling hopes are now about to take flight, and all that is needed from you is the courage to see things through. Be daring, be fearless, and then happily pursue your most treasure dreams.
If you don not have every little detail worked out, do not let that hold you back. All the steps will be reveal themselves as you move forward. Additional meaning: Anew beginnings. Career changes. Promotions.

 
 

It's been quite a ride.

 Hi and Good morning,

I know it's been a while since I've written in my blog space.

Lets just say the past few weeks have thrown me for a loop and I'm now recovering from the energy that was presented to me.

Needless to say, I've had a few things blow up in my face, and I'm now collecting my thoughts and manifesting a new life with just myself to count on.

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Another beautiful day in the desert.

Good Morning and Happy Thursday !

No matter what's going on in the world or in my life, I always wake up in a pretty good mood.

The morning starts out with letting the critters out for their morning running around time.

The temperature outside has been  between 113 to 122 degrees  so I let them play for as long as I can before it gets too hot and I get them  in the air conditioned house.

A few of the kitties love to stay out and hang out by the pool or under the patio furniture. It's impossible to get them in so I make sure they have plenty of food and water.

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